Moooooooooo

So I am sleeping, as all creatures should at 130 in the morning. The air is cooler at night finally, so I have the windows open.

"Mooooooooooo"

"Mooooooooooooo"

"Mooooooooo Mooooooo Moooooo"

and I awake finally hearing this odd moo. So I listen and she continues to moooooooo.

This is weird, I think to myself. Why aren't they all mooing? Or better yet, why aren't they chewing their cud in the quiet of night?

So I get up to pee and I look out my bathroom window into their pasture. I see one heifer... but where are her sisters?

"mooooooo"

So I put on some velour beater sweats and make the choice to go bra-less. It is 1:40 in the morning, I pray I wont run into anyone other than the animal kind. I toss on some vans, 'cause that's what all cattle rancher folk look like: blue velour sweats, black skull Vans and a white wife beater tank without a bra. never-mind the hair!

Out I go into the night, thanking God the moon is bright enough for me to see.

AHA! Two asshole heifers have toppled a post in their pen and they are now out in the just chopped corn field. Thankfully, they relate ME to FOOD and they moo at me, causing the lone good abandoned heifer to moo (hence the mooing, she had been ditched). I show them hay and they come running to the gate.

I utter some expletives, like 'you f*cking whores' and let them back in their pen. I then reward their behavior with three flakes of hay. This shuts them up so I can go repair the fence. I realize this is not something I can properly fix in the middle of the night, so I spend 20 minutes fixing the fence good enough to contain the bitches until dh can put new posts in in the morning.

Sweaty and tired I wander back into the house about 2:15 and I lay there awake. I finally put the TV on and watch two episodes of House Hunters... love that show.... and finally decide at 3:30 to get up, get a Diet Pepsi and tinker on the computer. I haven't heard anymore mysterious mooing from Rooster, Roadrunner or Robin, so I hope they are in their pasture.